1
00:00:02,050 --> 00:00:04,050
Hey, lowell,
Lowell, lowell,
Help me out here.

2
00:00:04,050 --> 00:00:05,050
I need a...

3
00:00:05,050 --> 00:00:06,560
A 6-letter word
For "Duck."

4
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,060
[telephone ringing]

5
00:00:08,060 --> 00:00:09,560
[exhales]

6
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:11,060
"Mallard."

7
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:14,060
Great. Mallard.
M-a-l-l-a...

8
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:17,570
No, no, no, no,
Mallard doesn't fit.
It's got 7 letters.

9
00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:19,070
Ah, sure it does, brian.

10
00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:21,070
The l's are real skinny

11
00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:24,910
So you can just
Squeeze 'em both
Into the same box.

12
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:26,980
Just like that.

13
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,750
Ok, so--so if I needed
A 5-letter word
For "Useless,"

14
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,250
I could use "Lowell"

15
00:00:32,750 --> 00:00:34,750
And then take
The 2 last l's
And put 'em in one box.

16
00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:37,250
Now you're catchin' on.

17
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:43,990
[seagulls cawing]

18
00:01:46,660 --> 00:01:48,160
Fay,

19
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,760
I'm looking for a nice,
Romantic place

20
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,760
To take a woman for a--
For a special dinner.

21
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,100
Have any suggestions?

22
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,100
Well, how about
Pontrelli's?

23
00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,670
Pontrelli's? Oh, fay,
That's a little pricey.

24
00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,970
I know: I'll just eat
Most of my steak,

25
00:02:02,970 --> 00:02:05,480
And then send it back.
Thanks.

26
00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:09,780
Uh--uh, roy, how did you
And your lady friend meet?

27
00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:13,520
Well, we haven't
Exactly met. We, uh...

28
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,020
We answered each other's ads
In the back of a magazine.

29
00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:19,020
That's why
I'm a little nervous.

30
00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:20,520
Why?

31
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,530
Well, I may have exaggerated
About myself a bit.

32
00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:25,030
I mean, that's the way
These things work.

33
00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:27,530
I just hope she's not gonna
Be as disappointed in me

34
00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:30,230
As I'm sure
I'm gonna be in her.

35
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:33,900
How could
She be disappointed
In a romantic like you?

36
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:37,070
After all,
You did pick valentine's day
For your first date.

37
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:39,340
Today's valentine's day?

38
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,340
Damn.

39
00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:43,350
That means I'm gonna
Have to get flowers, right?

40
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:44,850
[exclaiming]

41
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,490
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry.
I--I almost ran into you.

42
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,350
Oh, I know.

43
00:02:51,350 --> 00:02:53,960
Look, uh, why don't
We back up and see if we can
Get it right this time?

44
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,460
Hey, uh, can I help you
With those?

45
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,960
No, thanks, they're light.
They're just my sample cases.

46
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,260
Oh, sample...
You're in sales, huh?

47
00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,930
Well, whatever
You're selling,
I'm buying.

48
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,800
What am I buying?
Lingerie.

49
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,400
Well, being high-waisted,
I'm murder to fit

50
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,400
But I'll take
A peek-a-boo teddy
In a 42 regular.

51
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,740
[chuckling]
Look, I gotta get going.

52
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:12,580
Oh, come on,
You're makin' me
Work awful hard here.

53
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,680
How about it?
Would you like, uh,
Some lunch?

54
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,910
I have sales appointments
For the rest of the day.

55
00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:18,850
Oh, wow.
That's too bad.

56
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:19,850
[clicks tongue]

57
00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:21,850
Well, it was
Worth a shot. Thanks.

58
00:03:22,350 --> 00:03:23,350
Hey.

59
00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:26,260
Don't you people eat dinner
On this island?

60
00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,760
Yeah, I suppose we could.
We have the technology.

61
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,800
Well, great. So, can you
Meet me back here at 8:00?

62
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,800
Oh, I--I'm brian.

63
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,330
Stephanie.

64
00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,600
Pretty sure it's brian,
But I'll double-check.

65
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,100
I'll see you tonight.
Ok.

66
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,100
[people chattering]

67
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,870
[telephone ringing]

68
00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:44,370
Helen.

69
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:45,370
(helen)
Yeah, joe?

70
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,010
Happy valentine's day.

71
00:03:51,610 --> 00:03:54,620
Is this your idea
Of a joke?

72
00:03:54,620 --> 00:03:57,290
Uh, no,
It's my idea
Of chocolate.

73
00:03:57,290 --> 00:03:59,050
You know, some sweets
For my sweetie?

74
00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,060
How can you
Be so insensitive?

75
00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:04,130
Ok, wait, wait.
W-what are you talkin' about?

76
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:07,600
I-it's valentine's day.
You're supposed to give people
Candy on valentine's day.

77
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,330
You don't get it,
Do you, joe?

78
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:11,830
No.
Oh, well,

79
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,300
Then, I'm sorry.

80
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,300
Forget about it.
You're not insensitive,
You're s-s-stupid!

81
00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:17,070
Stupid?

82
00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:18,580
Stu-stupid?

83
00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:19,910
I'm stupid?

84
00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:22,280
Good, joe.
You're learning
By repetition.

85
00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:24,280
Look, I don't know
What has gotten into you,

86
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,280
But I don't
Have to take this.

87
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:27,080
Oh, fine, joe.
Happy valentine's day.

88
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,920
Yeah, same to you.

89
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,420
Uh, helen, could I see you
In joe's office
For a minute, please?

90
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:32,920
Fine.

91
00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:36,930
Hey, whose, uh,
Chocolates are these?

92
00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:39,430
Yours.

93
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:40,430
Thanks!

94
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:41,860
Don't thank me,
Thank joe.

95
00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:44,770
So, he didn't forget.

96
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,400
Well, what is it, fay?

97
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,910
Uh, may I see your hand?

98
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:52,710
[slaps]
Ow!

99
00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:57,480
Believe me, that hurt me
More than it hurt you.

100
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,310
I don't think so.

101
00:04:58,820 --> 00:04:59,750
Well, I do.

102
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:02,120
I have
A touch of arthritis
In this hand.

103
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,090
Now, helen,
Joe went out of his way

104
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:07,090
[groans]
To get you
A nice present.

105
00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,590
How could you
Be so mean to him?

106
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:10,590
You know
How sensitive he is.

107
00:05:10,590 --> 00:05:11,560
Oh, well,
If he's so sensitive,

108
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,060
Why did he give me
Chocolates?

109
00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:15,600
Oh, what were you
Expecting, diamonds?

110
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,100
Little gold digger.

111
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,410
No, fay,
It's nothing like that.

112
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,410
It's just that I have been
Fighting this weight problem
All of my life,

113
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,410
And now that
I'm finally thin,

114
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,910
My boyfriend wants
To make me so huge

115
00:05:29,910 --> 00:05:33,150
That no one'll
Be attracted to me
Ever again.

116
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:38,150
Oh, right, you caught on
To his clever plan.

117
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:41,160
Oh, I--I better call up
And cancel that truckload
Of mashed potatoes

118
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,660
He's having delivered
To your house.

119
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:47,160
Oh, helen,
You're making too big
A deal of this.

120
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,170
Joe's heart was
In the right place.

121
00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,000
[sighs]

122
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,500
Oh, fay, I guess
I really blew it.

123
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:57,010
I'm just sort of new
At having a boyfriend
On valentine's day.

124
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,940
I'm not really sure
How to act.

125
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,840
Well, I'm--
I'm not sure either,

126
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,850
But if I were you,
I'd try something else.

127
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,320
Hey, brian,
Where's helen?

128
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,820
She, uh,
She closed up the counter
And left for the day.

129
00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:15,830
Oh, boy,
She is ticked off at me
About somethin'.

130
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:18,830
I--I don't know,
I gave her a nice big box
Of valentine candy,

131
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:20,130
And she went nuts.

132
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,130
Candy for someone
Who's been battling
A weight problem

133
00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:26,140
Ever since they started
On solid food...

134
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:29,740
Nah, that couldn't be it.

135
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:31,740
Oh, god,
I better go call her.

136
00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:33,240
Gee, d'you think?

137
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,680
[people chattering]

138
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:41,020
Excuse me,
I'm looking
For roy biggins.

139
00:06:41,020 --> 00:06:44,020
Uh, I--I--I'll, uh...

140
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,020
I'll see if he's in.

141
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:46,360
[clears throat]

142
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,800
Fay, she double-crossed me.
She's gorgeous.

143
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,530
She didn't lie
In her ad at all.
What am I gonna do?

144
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,430
Now, roy,
Pull yourself together.

145
00:06:57,430 --> 00:07:01,370
You're a fine-looking man
Who carries himself
With style and class.

146
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:02,710
Right.

147
00:07:02,710 --> 00:07:05,070
Now, tuck in your shirt,
Zip up your fly,

148
00:07:05,070 --> 00:07:07,080
And go and sweep that gal
Off her feet.

149
00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:10,210
[exclaiming]

150
00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:15,920
Hi, karen,

151
00:07:16,420 --> 00:07:17,990
I'm roy biggins.

152
00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,660
That--that was just
My idea of a...

153
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:22,560
[chuckling]
Of a little joke.

154
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,760
Well, you did say
You had a sense of humor.

155
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,760
Yeah, but, I didn't say
It was a good one.

156
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,230
[both laughing]

157
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:30,530
You know, roy, you're...

158
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:33,770
Not at all
What I pictured.

159
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:35,270
Yeah, uh...

160
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:38,270
Look, I'd understand
If, uh, you know,

161
00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:40,280
You wanna back out
Of this date right now.

162
00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,350
No hard feelings.

163
00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:45,320
What makes you think
I don't like what I see?

164
00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:47,820
Please tell me
There's no one
Standing behind me.

165
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,490
Some guy in coveralls
With chocolate
All over his face.

166
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,500
Roy.
Yeah?

167
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,500
Roy, I came to nantucket

168
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:05,000
To have
A valentine's day dinner
With a charming man

169
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,700
Who wrote me
All those lovely letters.

170
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,710
Well, in that case, madam,

171
00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:10,710
[chuckles]

172
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,070
Your carriage awaits.

173
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:14,380
Why, thank you, sir.

174
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:16,380
You know,
I've never ridden
In a porsche before.

175
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,880
Uh, yeah, uh, that. Uh...

176
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:22,890
Uh, it's in the shop.

177
00:08:22,890 --> 00:08:25,890
Oh.
But they--they did
Give me a loaner.

178
00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:28,890
Wait till you see it,
A purple el camino.

179
00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:32,330
But what can
You do, huh?

180
00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:36,730
Well, I tried to call her,
But she wasn't home.

181
00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:39,740
Joe hackett?
Yeah.

182
00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:42,670
Happy valentine's day.
Oh, thanks.

183
00:08:42,670 --> 00:08:45,170
Oh, he's a cute one, joe.
I wish you both the best.

184
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,880
"Sorry about this morning.
I'd like to make it up
To you.

185
00:08:52,380 --> 00:08:55,890
Meet me at our special place,
Tonight, 8:00.
Your stupid valentine."

186
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:59,020
Oh, that's sweet.
I better get going
If I'm gonna make it.

187
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,020
Hey, uh, where's
This special place?

188
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,030
Indian point. You know--
You know, the place
Where the kids go

189
00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,530
And park and make out?
Make out, yeah.

190
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:05,530
Yeah, that's where
We had our first kiss.

191
00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:07,030
[chuckles]

192
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:09,370
Well, you ought to know,
You were hidin'
In the back seat.

193
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:10,670
You would have gotten
A lot further

194
00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:12,170
If you weren't
So hung up on privacy.

195
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,880
Signorina,
Are you ready to order?

196
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,510
Oh, no, thank you,
I'm waiting
For my valentine.

197
00:09:25,510 --> 00:09:27,550
This is our special place.

198
00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:29,050
[speaking italian]

199
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:39,200
Signorina, are you
All right?

200
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,560
Oh, yes.

201
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:44,400
It has been so long,
And still he does not show.

202
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,640
You should not be alone.

203
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,000
I'm not alone.

204
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,010
Look around you.

205
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:53,510
Due, due, due, due,
Due, due, due, due...

206
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:56,010
Uno.

207
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,650
My boyfriend will be here
Any minute.

208
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,520
Of course,  signorina.

209
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,350
Whatever you say.

210
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,820
[bemoaning in italian]

211
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:08,860
Roy, this looks lovely.

212
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:10,860
Yeah, I've never
Really eaten here,

213
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,360
But it sure smells good
Every time I drive by.

214
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:14,860
Roy.

215
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,870
Oh, hi, helen.
She's gorgeous!

216
00:10:16,870 --> 00:10:18,370
Yeah, I know.

217
00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:19,870
And she seems to be
Enjoying my company.
Hmm.

218
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,840
We're obviously dealing
With a very sick woman here.

219
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,170
Roy, maybe she likes you.

220
00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,010
Oh, come off it, helen.

221
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,510
I--I don't know
What's wrong
With her,

222
00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:31,510
But as god is my witness,
I'm sure gonna find out.

223
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,250
[people chattering]

224
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,250
Some  prosciutto
E melone.

225
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,760
Uh, no,
I didn't order this.

226
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:42,260
Scusi, please,
M-my compliments,
Signorina.

227
00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:45,260
A little something
In your stomach
Helps to ease the pain

228
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:47,760
Of your wretched
Loneliness.

229
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,970
I am not in pain.

230
00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:52,600
Well, then...

231
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,640
Well, my feet hurt
A little bit.

232
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,240
So, uh, tell me
A little bit
About yourself.

233
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,740
Well, I'm originally
From cleveland

234
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,940
But my family
Moved to gloucester
When I was 8.

235
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,950
Oh, gloucester's lovely.

236
00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:06,450
Ooh, very picturesque.

237
00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:08,350
Does insanity
Run in your family?

238
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:10,190
What?

239
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:11,690
Oh, nothing,
Nothing, nothing.

240
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,630
They--they tell me
This restaurant
Is really great.

241
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:20,630
They--they say the chef
Came all the way over
From naples.

242
00:11:20,630 --> 00:11:22,360
Ever been in prison?

243
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:24,530
No. No.

244
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:26,170
What a coincidence.
Me, either.

245
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:33,940
Ah.

246
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:34,940
[moans in pleasure]

247
00:11:34,940 --> 00:11:36,450
Yes.

248
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:37,950
[chuckling softly]
Yeah.

249
00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:40,950
Yes, nothing like a little
Pre-dinner fashion show

250
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,450
To stimulate
The old appetite.

251
00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,460
Well, I know
I'm hungry.

252
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:54,460
[phone ringing]

253
00:11:57,970 --> 00:12:00,970
[phone ringing]

254
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,470
Aren't you gonna
Answer the phone?

255
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:05,980
[phone continues ringing]
Is that the phone?

256
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:06,980
I thought
My lips were ringing.

257
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,920
[both chuckling]

258
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,490
[sharply]
What? What? What?

259
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,590
Brian, is joe there?

260
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:25,590
No, joe is not here.
I thought he was with you
At your special place.

261
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:27,000
(helen)
Well, he's not.

262
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,400
I've been waiting
At this damn restaurant
For over an hour.

263
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,400
Restaurant?

264
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,400
Yeah. Down at pontrelli's.

265
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,400
Oh--oh, y-yes, yes.
Well, you know he...

266
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,910
He just got
A late start, is all.

267
00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:38,770
But I'm-- I'm sure
He'll be there
Any second now.

268
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:40,110
Oh, ok, thanks.

269
00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:41,210
It's ok.

270
00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:44,710
Now,

271
00:12:44,710 --> 00:12:48,220
Stephanie,
I--I hate to leave you
At this critical juncture,

272
00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:50,220
But I've gotta deliver
A message to my brother,

273
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:53,490
Otherwise his girlfriend
Will hate him
For the rest of his days.

274
00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,890
Promise me you'll be here
Upon my return.

275
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:58,130
Absolutely. No problem.

276
00:12:58,130 --> 00:12:59,460
Thank you.

277
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,460
And when you get back,

278
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:02,930
I'll be wearing this.

279
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:06,370
I mean,
We're brothers,

280
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,840
But it's not like
We're siamese twins,
You know?

281
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:09,340
Go.
Go?

282
00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:10,270
Go.

283
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,680
Helen?

284
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:17,980
Hey!

285
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:18,750
Sorry.

286
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:21,280
I'm sorry about that.
It was my mistake.

287
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,120
[car door slams]
What the hell
Do you think you're doing?

288
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:23,890
Uh, just looking--

289
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,250
Yeah. I noticed. Listen,

290
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:28,160
My girlfriend and I
Came up here
To have a good time.

291
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,490
What are you doing
Up here alone?

292
00:13:30,490 --> 00:13:32,490
I--I--I'm not alone.
I'm waiting for someone.

293
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:34,230
Joe! Yo!

294
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,730
[tires skidding]

295
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,070
[laughing]
This is perfect.

296
00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:39,500
Hey, elaine!
He's waitin'
For another guy!

297
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,740
It's not another guy,
It's my brother.

298
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:44,240
Oh. And I thought
It was somethin' weird.

299
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,740
Brian, what are
You doing here?

300
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:51,580
Freezing my giblets off
So I could save yours.

301
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:54,080
Now, look,
You're in the wrong
Special place.

302
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,590
Helen has been
Sitting at pontrelli's
For the last hour.

303
00:13:56,590 --> 00:13:58,590
Pontrelli's?
Yeah.

304
00:13:58,590 --> 00:13:59,590
Great.

305
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:02,090
My special place
Is where we kissed,

306
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,690
And her special place
Is where we ate.

307
00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:07,200
All right,
Throw the bike in the back.
Get in, let's go.

308
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,200
[engine sputtering]

309
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,700
Come on, come on.
Come on.

310
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:11,700
Come on.

311
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:12,700
I don't believe this.

312
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,200
It's dead.

313
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,710
Gonna have to
Take the bike.

314
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,210
But why don't we
Just ask him
If he'll jump us?

315
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:19,210
No, please, don't.

316
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:21,210
Get on.

317
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:25,650
(joe)
By the way, nice dress.

318
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:27,150
What, this old thing?

319
00:14:32,150 --> 00:14:33,160
So.

320
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,430
No, he does not show.

321
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:42,630
I hate to see
A beautiful woman alone
On such a romantic night.

322
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:44,170
Giacomo!

323
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,770
[beckoning in italian]

324
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:49,640
He's only a busboy now,
But he has "Headwaiter"
Written all over him.

325
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,140
Oh. You know,
He's really... I'm--

326
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,640
Signorina,
Meet my cousin giacomo.

327
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,640
Hello.

328
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,650
Your  valentine
For this evening.

329
00:14:58,650 --> 00:14:59,650
[clears throat]

330
00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:00,550
Hi.

331
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:04,590
[making sexual allusions
In italian]

332
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,190
[speaking italian]

333
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:17,500
What'd he say?

334
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,330
He say you're nice.

335
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,740
So, karen.

336
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,780
Yes, roy?

337
00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:30,710
Have you always
Been a woman?

338
00:15:33,580 --> 00:15:34,550
What?

339
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:37,990
I'm not saying
They didn't do
A good job.

340
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:42,830
Do you mind if I'm
Honest with you?

341
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:46,900
Well, well,
It's about time.

342
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,900
You lied about
Your looks, fine.

343
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,900
I don't get hung up
On looks.

344
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:55,370
And at first, I found
Your...Awkward shyness
To be endearing.

345
00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:57,370
But your overwhelming
Insecurity

346
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,370
And your total
Lack of self-esteem

347
00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:01,540
Borders on the pathetic.

348
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,550
So, although you were
Not unattractive to me
When we first met,

349
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:06,050
You have certainly
Become so.

350
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:09,550
I'm sorry, but consider
This date officially over.

351
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,860
I knew it!
You're afraid of commitment!

352
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:22,330
Well, roy,
Looks like we've both
Been left in the lurch.

353
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:23,830
What happened
To your date?

354
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,830
Oh, she turned out to be
A real screwball.

355
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:28,400
What about you?

356
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,910
Joe stood me up.

357
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:34,410
I asked him to meet me here,
Because this is where
We had our first date.

358
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,250
But, I guess
He's still mad at me.

359
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:40,750
I thought your first date
Was when you went to park
Up at indian point.

360
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,620
No, no, that was after.
We went here first.

361
00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:47,120
Surely joe wouldn't have...

362
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,660
See you, roy.
Happy valentine's day.

363
00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:56,060
So.

364
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,570
You, too,
Are alone.

365
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,300
Angela!

366
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:01,570
[beckoning in italian]

367
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,010
[cutlery clinking]

368
00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:12,010
[panting]

369
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:17,590
Signore, can I help you?

370
00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:20,090
Uh, y-yeah, yeah, maybe.
I'm looking
For my girlfriend.

371
00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:22,590
She's a cute blonde,
About this tall...

372
00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:24,760
So!

373
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,760
Finally, he comes.

374
00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:31,270
So, she was here?

375
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,270
Yes. All alone,
For 2 hours.

376
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:36,170
Signore,
I suggest you leave.

377
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:37,810
Wait, but I--I--

378
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:38,810
Giacomo!

379
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:39,610
[beckoning in italian]

380
00:17:41,110 --> 00:17:46,310
Signore, this man
Can disembowel a pig
In 28 seconds.

381
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,420
Pig, you,

382
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:50,420
No difference.

383
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:52,920
Maybe 5 seconds.

384
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:56,960
Why you do this thing
To such a beautiful lady?

385
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,400
[stuttering]
It was a
Misunderstanding.

386
00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:00,760
I--I thought
We were gonna meet
In one place,

387
00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:02,260
And she thought
We were gonna
Meet in another.

388
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,300
[groaning]

389
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,740
This is so sad.

390
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:09,100
Star-crossed lovers.

391
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,940
Romeo e juliet, si?
Ah!

392
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,080
Well, this is just great.

393
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,080
Signore, please,
You sit. You sit.

394
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,590
Giacomo, some chianti
For my friend.

395
00:18:25,090 --> 00:18:26,590
[exclaiming]

396
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:29,090
Coffee, uh, break.

397
00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:34,300
His first words
Of english.

398
00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:39,240
Chianti! Chianti!

399
00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:46,580
Women.

400
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:50,580
They never see anything
From our perspective.

401
00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:54,080
They always take
The female side.

402
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:58,090
[complaining in italian]

403
00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:03,630
They're all spoiled
Little  bambine.

404
00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:05,630
They don't get their way,
And it's...

405
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:08,130
[feigning crying]

406
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:13,240
[all singing
La donna mobile]

407
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,650
Joe, what the hell
Is goin' on here?

408
00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,220
What--

409
00:19:28,220 --> 00:19:30,220
I just got back
From indian point,

410
00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:32,720
Where some kid told me
That you left on a bike

411
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,190
With a man
Wearing a dress.

412
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,630
That was brian.

413
00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:40,500
Do you mind if we have
A little privacy?

414
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:41,500
Hey, helen, helen.

415
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,500
[with italian-american accent]
Anything you can say to me,

416
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:45,500
You can say
In front of my  goombas.

417
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,840
[all cheering]

418
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,040
Joe.

419
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,410
Oh, ok, ok, ok.

420
00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:54,910
[speaking italian]

421
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:57,110
Grazie, grazie, grazie.

422
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,110
[all chattering]

423
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:02,380
Where did you learn
To speak italian?

424
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:04,390
I don't speak italian.

425
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:09,330
Joe, how could you think
That indian point
Was our special place?

426
00:20:09,660 --> 00:20:12,130
This restaurant
Is where we had
Our first romantic dinner.

427
00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:15,030
Yeah, but, helen,
Indian point...

428
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:19,030
It's where we had
Our first romantic kiss.

429
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:26,780
Ok. I guess
That was kinda special.

430
00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:28,680
Oh, I really
Messed this up,
Didn't I?

431
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,480
No, joe, I'm sorry
I yelled at you
About those chocolates.

432
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,320
Well, it was
Pretty insensitive of me
To give you that candy.

433
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,050
Cannoli?

434
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:40,560
No, thank you.

435
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,560
I just wanted
This valentine's day
To be extra-special.

436
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,030
Never had
A good one. Never.

437
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,100
Never?

438
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:50,570
Do you know what it's like
To be the fattest girl
In school on valentine's day?

439
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:53,500
Nope.

440
00:20:55,540 --> 00:20:58,040
You know how everybody
Would exchange valentines?

441
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,540
Well, everyone would
Get all these really
Great ones, you know, like,

442
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:02,040
Like mickey kissing minnie.

443
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,050
And I'd always get
The lame-o ones

444
00:21:04,050 --> 00:21:07,050
Like dopey
Huggin' a tree stump.

445
00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:09,550
And I only got that
Because the teacher
Told the boys

446
00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,350
They had to give
One to everybody.

447
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:12,350
Dopey's cute.

448
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,220
Dopey's a bald dwarf
With big ears.

449
00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:20,460
And then, the only date
I would have
On valentine's day

450
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,460
Would be a 2-pound
Box of chocolates

451
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:24,470
Which I bought
For myself,

452
00:21:24,470 --> 00:21:26,970
Then after an hour,
When it was gone,

453
00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:29,470
I would be
All alone again.

454
00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:32,910
So sometimes,
Like when you didn't
Show up tonight,

455
00:21:34,780 --> 00:21:37,580
I just still see myself
As that fat little girl.

456
00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:42,220
Hey, helen,
I am sitting here,
And I see a...

457
00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:45,720
A warm, tender,
Sexy woman with...

458
00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:48,720
Soft eyes,

459
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,160
And a big heart.

460
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:52,560
Oh, you're drunk.

461
00:21:56,870 --> 00:21:58,370
But I'm not blind.

462
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:00,600
[sighing]

463
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,400
Thank you, joe.

464
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:05,270
Be my valentine?

465
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,080
[sniffling]
Be mine.

466
00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:18,150
That's  amore.